There's no one in the world...

"Thunderstorms could never stop me."

I don't know why I started this new blog, the last time I used it was when I was good friends with Ammirelle again. That's obviously not the case anymore, nor is it the case with a lot of my other friends. Thus, comes the main purpose for this entry, and maybe more importantly; this blog.

Loneliness has become like a disease, festering in the bowels of my heart, finding sluices to escape from into my fingers and onto this keyboard. So, why do I write about it, rather than do something about it? Well, because I feel like there's no longer anything I CAN do about it.

"This place is a bloodbath."

I'm finding the music from that time rather...fitting, for whatever reason. It's making me want to cry. I hate that my main memory of this album is rollerblading at 4 in the morning. It sucks, because it's such a good album. I've come a long, long way since then. Some good, some bad. The girl choices, however, have significantly improved. Obviously, considering I'm engaged now. I'm debating whether or not to tell Amanda about this blog, and naturally when I ultimately decide to tell her about it, she's going to read this and get upset. So, let me start it off by saying, sorry, love.

"Your words are deadly weapons."

I miss so much about not only who I used to be, who other people used to be as well. There are people that, even though I know they're different people now, people that I wouldn't want to be friends with anymore, but I still find myself missing them. I hate how awkward things have become, with everyone. I can't carry a conversation with anyone anymore, I no longer have anything interesting to talk about. How the fuck did I become so God damned depressed? I have a beautiful fiance, who understands and compliments me... so what the hell is my problem? Everything. Everything.

I don't want to do shit anymore tonight, fuck today.

Ugh.

Start over.